“A solid, two-parent home is critical for a child's future. There is simply no shortcut.” – Troubled
Maslow’s famous “Hierarchy of Needs” provided a modern take on prioritizing the essentials for ultimate well-being. In the five-step process, an individual must first have his physiological needs for survival fulfilled, whether air, water, food, or shelter. Next is the basic need for physical and emotional safety to assuage fear and anxiety through a stable environment. Third is the need for love and belonging in one’s family and community where trust, connections, and acceptance can be nurtured. Fourth is the other psychological need for esteem, that is, the attainment of respect, and worthiness. Once the first four steps are fulfilled, self-actualization can be achieved, allowing the individual to meet their potential. Although there are no guarantees for success, the greater the needs are met as the pyramid is scaled, the better the odds that success in one’s life can be achieved.
The best setting to meet Maslow’s needs is the biological family unit as human genetics and familial bonds are stronger than any others. Not only does the family provide a structured environment for human development, but families socialize children through the learning of moral values and social norms. A positive start in life sets the stage for future success.
In Rob Henderson’s 2024 book, “Troubled”, Yale graduate Henderson recounts his childhood trauma as a foster child in the Los Angeles system. While elites view education and the ensuing credential as the single most important predictor of success in one’s life, Henderson sees it differently. A college degree will never make up for a lack of family early on. The social-emotional needs that are met through early familial bonds are more important than education or money. Henderson recounts the mistakes elites make when they misunderstand poverty as a lack of money, ignoring the social development that comes from a stable two-parent home.
As Henderson notes, rich kids and poor kids live in separate Americas, especially in the Ivy League where 18 out of 20 students at Yale were raised in a home with both biological parents. In fact, 85 percent of children born into the upper class are also raised by both birth parents, while only 30 percent of the working class have such luck. The instability that results may or may not include poverty, but often leaves a child with feelings of neglect, and worthlessness.
For foster children, familial bonds are rarely developed, as children are deliberately moved around to prohibit attachment to a family that is not likely to remain permanent. This lack of attachment is abnormal for children who fail to feel safe, lack necessary connections, and are more likely to experience social/emotional problems from its deprivation. Instead, foster children are often subjected to neglect, abandonment, and even abuse, often forced to grow up faster due to the added responsibility that comes from an absence of stability and supervision. Trauma not only speeds up the maturing process but creates a development gap between children raised in secure and loving homes, and those who experience a revolving door of moms, dads, and siblings.
But elites aren’t just wrong about education as a be-all and end-all to a successful life. As a result of his tenure in the Ivy League, and his association with upper-class elites, Henderson coined the term luxury beliefs, noting how elites like to virtue signal their high status through woke ideas by advocating for harmful behaviors that they themselves would never entertain. Instead, lower-class individuals are encouraged to adopt these noxious beliefs and end up having to cope with the negative effects and high social costs for the rest of their lives. For example, defunding the police leaves poor communities with more crime, but elites who live in gated communities with private security are unaffected. Condemning traditional marriage as old-fashioned ensures a cycle of poverty for the working class, even as elites choose conventional unions for themselves.
While elites continue to believe that education is the best way out of poverty, getting into college can never make up for a childhood’s lack of family. Get family right, and the path to college and upward mobility will follow.
Comments