There's No Such Thing as a Free Lunch: Children's Edition

“Timothy and the Gimme Getter rulers held a meeting.  They voted to make the workers pay them more money.  So the workers paid the rulers so the rulers could pay the bills for the things they gave to the people for free.” – Trouble in Ippy-Tippy Town

In September 2026, at the first-ever midterm convention, President Trump promised that if Republicans retained both the House and the Senate following the midterm elections, every adult would receive a $5,000 Trump dividend.  This act of bribery comes on the heels of several previous assurances of refunds and stimulus checks for DOGE savings and Tariff windfalls, neither of which actually materialized.  In the rare event that Republicans keep both houses, the 1.2 trillion dollar price tag is unlikely to win the necessary Congressional approval.

In Katie Berdan’s 2014 children’s book, “Trouble in Ippy-Tippy Town”, Berdan tells the tale of a whimsical metropolis in the land of opportunity where “Wanna Workers” go to their jobs to produce the goods and services that people want and need in exchange for money to buy all the essentials of life.  Unfortunately, a trip to “Shloppy Shluffers” opened their eyes to the possibility of abandoning work for free stuff to be provided by their rulers (the government), at no cost to them.  This led to an election with grim results. 

Citizens of Ippy-Tippy Town faced the same binary choices we have today.  A party representing those who want to earn their own way, versus those who want more and more things provided for “free” by the government.  It is the age-old dilemma between freedom and security.  Benjamin Franklin in 1755 warned that “those who give up essential liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety”.  As a result, they would end up with none.  Berdan’s book shows why. 

The “Gimme Getters” in town enjoyed their idleness and grew increasingly entitled to free things.  When they won the election and took over the government, increased taxes were immediately needed to pay for the free items given to non-workers.  As taxes grew, “Wanna Workers” lost their jobs, and businesses began to close.  More and more people had no choice but to become dependent on the government for their essential needs.  As supplies ran out, the land once full of opportunity became the land of lazy loafers. 

The Wanna Workers loved to work and were responsible employees.  While they enjoyed their accomplishments and the financial benefits that came with it, they also felt the need to share their wealth with people in need.  Yet, as the Gimme Getters grew the size and scope of the government, they began to fear for their jobs, because working for a living was important to them. 

America, too, began as a land of opportunity, founded on individual freedom and the pursuit of happiness.  It was a place where laws gave people a chance to succeed on their own initiative; through hard work and determination, they could flourish.  As the government grew, however, debts and deficits could not be financed by taxes alone.  The government’s control over the money supply provided another way to grow its power by printing money without the consent of the people. 

The phrase, “There is No Such Thing as a Free Lunch,” has been described as economics in 8 words.  Economist Milton Friedman, in his 1975 book of the same name, showed how there is a cost to everything.  Economic trade-offs occur when choosing one option results in the absence of another, emphasizing the opportunity cost of every decision.  As such, nothing is ever free; someone always has to pay.  Promises of free goods and services become nothing more than empty words when the taxpayer is ultimately on the hook for the cost, one way or another.  Once those costs are calculated, there is, in fact, no greater expense than a free lunch. 

Anytime the government makes a pile of money available, people will change their behavior to meet the requirements to receive it.  As entitlement programs grow, those who truly need the help are put at risk, as the program becomes unsustainable. 

Unfortunately, both parties have succumbed to acting like Santa Claus to incentivize voters to go to the polls.  The binary choices are essentially the same.